Dear Prison Warden Cline,
After extended sessions with a visiting Baptist preacher, I've been convinced to share my concerns with the ultimate authority in this dismal world of text and nuance. Some might find it remarkable that an atheist heeded spiritual advice from a man of the cloth, but after eight weeks of torture, I'm willing to listen to anyone.
I have always taken great pride in my writing ability and reading comprehension, but you, mistress, have poked enough holes in my windy compositions to deflate a hot air balloon. While I can easily see the logic in such scrutiny and criticism, and heed the knowledge imparted, I can't help but feel that my lofty position on the mountain has been humbled. I am now clinging precariously on the side, near the top, scrambling for a better position, and for that, I curse and thank you, ma'am.
The books required of this course have been, shall we say, enlightening? Grim? Odd? While I thoroughly enjoyed the writing ability of Woodrell, his world in the Ozarks is one I can honestly say I will never visit. Kirn has me gritting my teeth, wanting to fling the book across the room. I can't say I enjoy his style of writing at all, but I will perservere, good Warden, to avoid the stinging lash of the F whip.
My greatest weakness in the literary world has been citation, and considering my ultimate goal of Psychologist, this is a weakness that must be remedied. But, curse you thrice over, dear Warden, I must learn two format styles: MLA and APA. The Aegean stables were an easier task for Hercules than cramming the plethora of literary styles and citations into this poor, enfeebled mind of a middle-aged father of three! However, I must confess, your tutelage in this matter has been exemplary, and I humbly bow before you.
I can analyze effectively, good lady, and write eloquently, if I may be so immodest, but even the best writer can falter abysmally, and we must never think ourselves above reproach. You, dear Warden, are skilled, educated, and trained by experience to take a seed and enable it to blossom, and I must be completely candid: you have used excellent fertilizer. It may not waft a beautiful scent, but it does fortify the soul, and for that, I thank you, dear Warden.
I will endeavor to be far less serious and sober in my literary reflections in the second half of my prison term.
Respectfully Yours,
James Carr
Prisoner 863009
Thank you for providing such an interesting blog post! I must admit your creative approach to this assignment was great and I would never have thought to attempt the blog this way. I like the way that you not only speak of the ways in which you have improved in your writing, but, it is also evident in the writing itself how much you have grown! This style of writing urged me to read on. Thanks again and good luck on the rest of the semester.
ReplyDeleteJames: Wow what a letter! I know I will never wax as eloquently as you, for you do that too well. I read your letter and thought, how can I possibly comment on such work without sounding extremely uneducated. Fortunately I know you from a previous class and understand your great sense of humor. Was I wrong and you were just humoring us? Well anyway whichever the case, I really enjoyed your letter and thoughts. Oh, remind me to never match wits with you. All the best to you, di gurule.
ReplyDeleteJames,
ReplyDeleteWow man, what a great letter! I enjoyed reading it! I enjoy your humor and honesty. I also struggle with MLA citations and find them to be such a nusense in the world of English. I consider English to be quite a prison term myself, I just despise writing and the type of books we've been asked to read, are, as you put it, quite dismal. Your letter was funny, honest and easy for me to relate to. I share the same weakness in this class brother! I hope the rest of our prison term in this class gets a little better. Best of luck to you!
-Kyle Audis
James,
DeleteYour letter was hilarious. I was on the floor laughing. At times college can feel like a prison. The only difference is you pay to go to college and prison is free and they provided you with benefits. Why do we torture ourselves so? We work so hard in college, only to work harder once we enter our chosen profession? What a cruel world! I too have been humbled. My weakness is commas and run-ons, and she seems to find everyone. Mrs. Cline has a keen eye for our weakness, which as you stated is appreciated. I agree Woodrell was a quick, easy and enjoyable read. He captivated me and never let go. Kirn, on the other hand, never sunk his hooks in. I love your resolution and I think it is one we all may need to adapt, to maintain our sanity. Well written, humorous and creative.